Do you sometimes feel like you’re not seen? That no one really knows or cares who you are?
And when you’re at a gathering or a family event everyone’s too busy talking about themselves, or the only reason why they’re interested in you is because of what you can do for them?
Being surrounded by other people can make us feel lonelier than when we’re by ourselves!
Family’s great for that! We spent a lot of our childhood being told to go and play and not being truly seen by our parents. Especially when we were teenagers. Who felt like their parents truly understood what they were going through?
The pain of not being seen and understood as a child is one of the most painful experiences we can have, yet is inevitable.
When we’re in the depths of despair, feeling the full extent of not being seen in an intensely lonely marriage, or trying to find a way to reach our child when their pain is ripping our hearts out, or feeling invisible in our work, this is our chance to understand the true meaning of the situation.
We think it’s all about the situation or event that presents itself, obsessively consuming us, and driving us towards insanity, but it’s not.
We’ve been triggered, big time, by a past event or events where we felt unseen, unsafe, ignored, and were treated as unimportant, insignificant, not good enough, or unworthy. Any of these, or all of the above.
We felt like that because we didn’t have the emotional intelligence to deal with it. We didn’t realise that the people who we wanted desperately to see us couldn’t see themselves, let alone see us. They were too busy dealing with their own issues of not being loved or seen to notice ours!
It can be difficult to get our head around – when we’re feeling like it’s the other person causing our pain – that our suffering is caused by a past event of ours and not actually them or the situation.
The emotion is so strong that all we want to do is blame someone else, but a golden opportunity has presented itself.
We have a chance to let go of a trapped belief. A way of thinking that doesn’t serve us anymore. How do we know? Because it’s presented itself in our human experience! We have evolved enough to cope with facing and releasing past trauma. So we have a choice. We can keep blaming and being a victim to this terrible world and the cruel people in it, or we can see that it’s ours (it’s always ours) and take action to release it. We have an opportunity to live consciously.
So how do we do that when our ego is saying ‘you’ll never be able to do that! The world is unsafe and cruel and…”
If your mind was clever enough to store all these past events, it’s clever enough to let them go. All we need is to make the choice. Here’s how it goes.
1.The first step is to understand it’s ours from our past and nothing to do with anyone else. (You’ll thank them for helping you see this one day…maybe not right now.)
2. Do the B.E.S.T. technique.
Breathe, soft Eyes, Surrender, find the Truth.
3. Use the mirror technique.
What do I want them to do? To see me.
How does it make me feel when they don’t? Worthless.
Turn it around. I feel worthless when they don’t see me. I feel worthless when I don’t see me. Only we are capable of making ourselves feel seen. Why don’t other people see us? Because they can’t. They’re unconscious. If they saw themselves they’d see us!
3. Set your intention to let it go!
This is not serving you anymore. Your human experience will say “But I can’t, I’m too hurt!’
But believe me, now you recognise it’s yours, even if you don’t know what it exactly is, you can.
YOU CAN. LET IT GO. YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE SEEN. Xxx
